Jumat, 24 Juli 2015

#CurrentLife

Seems like my blog is the only place where I can talk too much, about anything. I can be me, totally me.

I'm in the mood to write about my 10 current condition statements:

1. Syukron ya Rabb I have bunch of lovely office mates, 1 minute walk to office from dorm (bye traffic madness!), good ceo, good team. Luv.

2. Another point why I love my current office is that the men are diligently praying in mosque, every dzuhur and ashar, everyday. Sometimes I joined them, and now it keeps getting often that I also praying at mosque with them. They influenced me a lot, a positive ones. That is why happiness by working is not coming only by how huge your salary is, but how good your coworker are until they can change you to be a better person everyday, both dunya and jannah. Inshaa Allah.

3. I can't belive that it's almost 2 months that I have been using skirt to wherever I am! Chacu with skirt? every single day? YASSS :"""D

4. Currenly loving to youtube-ing about "Kajian Marifatullah AA Gym". I need someone to remind me of Allah, everyday. There's a friend of mine who keeps tagging me on IG if she found something good for me to read. I thank her to keep reminding me to be much closer to Allah SWT. She's my friend until Jannah, Inshaa Allah.

5. Left Ramadhan and Idul Fitri with sad and happy feeling at the same time. Sad because Ramadhan is 70times holy-er than other 11 months so if we do good we will have a lot of rewards from Allah. Happy because I had a chance to meet Idul Fitri without worrying about any sins I made since I have broke up with my ex. So pure, so 'clean'. Idul Fitri this year is a moment when I can be a really NEW me. I mean, back in 2007-2014, I had some boyfriends. Which meant those 8 years, I had a lot of sins. God hated me because I was in a relationship before Ijab Qabul. Those 8 years were the darkest time of my life. 8 years were gone wasted and useless. Every Idul Fitri, they said we had 0 sins, God forgive us. But then what happen after that? Allahu'alam. And this year, I don't feel like I want to scratch any sins any longer, I won't have boyfriend before Akad, I won't have those kind of wrong relationships. What I want to do is only to be much closer with Allah SWT. 8 years were more than enough. Oh man, I hate my past 8 years back. But I thank Allah that He woke me up, after all this time. Thank you, Alhamdulillah.

6. I had these thoughts on mind about some future's plan;
  • Continuing my master degree at night, but working in the morning.
  • No master degree, but start learning and start reading a lot of books about marketing/communication business after office hour. And having a plan to 'test' my knowledge by my managers.
  • No master degree, but joining SSG at Daarut Tauhid starting this september-november (on every weekends).
  • Applying to a new company located in Bekasi, close to my house.
Well actually I really want to continue my master, since my parents also asked me to do so. Working and studying at the same time. I knew this would be very tiring for me, for my brain, my mind, my body. I also have no idea if someday my job would disturbs my study (If my boss sent me out of the city). Like, there are some things that I am afraid of. But honestly, I want to continue study. I'm kind of lack of knowledge now, that is why I need to read more books by my own. I want to be a better me both dunya and jannah. This is for my dunya, of course. "seek knowledge as much as you can, until you die, and spread it to everyone needed"--hadist. So there is no way that I don't want to continue my master. But until I type this, I have no decision to be taken yet. God please show me the way...

7. I am able to cook!!! oh God finally. If I had not stay at my current dorm, I wouldn't be able to cook, forever. Hahahaha. I love the kitchen that is why I love to cook (and also there are no food stalls near my dorm -_-). I made some simple dishes but I love eating that such as; sambel(!), tumis kangkung, tumis kerang, sayur sop, sup makaroni, cream soup, spageti, nasi goreng pete, tahu & tempe goreng, etc etc which costs very cheap and easy to make! I AM PROUD TO BE MEEEEEE hahahaha. Dear my future husband, no need to worry about my cooking ability, trust me! :---D

8. My laptop is broken and I use a laptop from my company which isss using Ubuntu, not microsoft. I was lyke................ WHAT IS THIS? WHY IN THE WORLD THEY NEED TO CREATE UBUNTU WHILE MICROSOFT IS SO MUCH EASIER AND USER FRIENDLY?!*&#^%)(@# but then my friend helped me to understand this and yas i'm getting used to use this laptop.....

9. I miss traveling abroad :_______________________________________________(((

10. I am back in facebook! eventhough i haven't share some posts yet (only instagram/path feeds), but will do it soon!

That's all. Catch ya later virtual version of me!

KC.

Rabu, 24 Juni 2015

It's a process. Change takes time.

June 24th 2015
#currentfeeling
Hello again, June 24th! :))

Everytime someone (mostly my 'gesrek' friend said something bad) I reaaally wanted to say something bad also, anjir, for example.

You know what, replacing a word anjir into Astagfirullah was very hard!
But now i'm starting to reduce the use of bad words.
If I said anjir inadvertently, I will add Astagfirullah after that.
But If I remember, I will try to replace that anjir with Astagfirullah first.
It's difficult, but doesn't me that I can't.

Always starts changing from a simple thing. 
Hijrah is not pushing you to be 100% changed rapidly.

If you usually didn't pray, start to pray 1 time (magrib is the easiest one)
If you pray only 1 time, start to pray 2 times
Over and over again until praying 5 times is your new "hobby"
Think again, God gives you health/money/lovely family/good friends/good job, and what is your response to show your gratitude to God?

If you still hard to pray 5 times, dzikr alhamdulillah.
If you still hard to do dzikr, give sodaqoh.
If you still hard to give sodaqoh, be kind to everyone.
If you still do nothing, naudzubillah :"

It's also the same with reading Quran.
If you can't read 1 full page, read a half, if you still hard to do it, try only 1 ayat.
It takes only few seconds, but God opens a door of heaven for you.


I believe you can keep scrolling down looking at Instagram feeds for an hour, path for every minutes, line for every seconds.
What don't you give it a try to slowly give only one minute to read quran, 10 minutes to pray, a second to do dzikr? especially on this holy month, Ramadhan.

Subhanallah. Isn't is so great?
I have been there and done that. I'vee been through the darkest time of my life.
Pretty hard to do it, but again, hijrah takes time, needs progress.
I have passed that and now I want to do it more, Inshaa Allah.
I will send my doa for all of you, and please pray for my hijrah too.
  • AND IF, someday I'm not getting better each day, if I was just saying but not implementing it, please slap me right in my face, please mad at me, please screaming at me saying "you are such a liar"
but I will try my very best not to do that.
Bismilllah ya Allah please create the easy path for me to be always close to You.

Amin Allahumma Amin.

Selasa, 23 Juni 2015

Assalamualaikum Ukhti!

June 23th, 2015
#currentlife

One post to mark one of my pending writing list about some of my #officeattire

Hey the old me,
I'm starting to use skirt to wherever I am. 
Starting to buy any kind of skirt instead of jeans.
Starting to be a real 'woman'
Starting to leave that 'tomboy' you inside a new me.
I'm on my way to be a better version of me everyday. Inshaa Allah.
Please #prayforchacu to keep istiqomah! Amin!






Jumat, 19 Juni 2015

Let's move up!

June 19th, 2015
#currentlife

Some of you might have known about move up, some of you didn't.
Move up is different from move on, hundred levels higher than move on.
Move up is a condition when you want to be closer with God, Allah SWT.
Move up is when you want to be a better version of you because of Allah, not because of someone.
Move up is a condition when you think you are full of sins and you want to erase it by getting closer with God. Move up is a condition when you give 100% of you to Allah SWT, no one else in your heart except Allah SWT.

Who the hell is someone writing this, I don't think this is Chacu?!?!?!

Well this is me, a new me :)

Don't ask me how many sins i have made during my 23 years of life.
Don't ask me whether i have ever been in a relationship with someone or not, yes I had, 4 times.
Don't ask me what was my biggest sins, only God knows and I feel so shame about that, all the time.

See, I'm not saying that i'm not a hypocrite, yes I am, yes I was.
I knew that God hates me for what I have been doing previously, I knew that it's hard for God to accept a new me, like, I have dissappointed God for many times, million times.

But, here I am now,
Starting to move on, even more than that, to move up.

I knew that Allah still wanted me to be closer with Him, I knew that God still loves me even I had milllions of sins, I knew that God trying so hard to take me back to His way.

And yes, He was the one who separates me with someone whom I love the most--who fullfilling my entire heart for the past 1.5 years.

Since me and my ex boyfriend broke up, still, i'm trying to have him back, because I knew that I was the one who had a lot of mistakes to him, I was struggling to prove that i'm changed, I was struggling to prove that I am still in love with him, etc, etc. But, he kept rejects me. He changed into someone that I don't even know who is he.

God works in a mysterious way. One of them is changing my ex boyfriend feelings towards me.
There is no way for us to getting back together.

Did you feel sad Chacu? Yes I was.
But then everytime I think of it, I think that God looooveeessss me that much. Right?

First, He made us broke up 
Second, He changed my ex's feelings
Third, He started to put hidayah to my self, to be closer with Him

One of my friend named Amelia Yurika said, the key for move up is I need to have no boyfriend first.
And yes, she was true. Because If I still have one, my priority is him, not Allah SWT.
I kept depend on my ex, not Allah.
I kept doing any sins (because I put God at 2nd place, which is not right).

I'm not trying to teach you because i'm not your religious teacher nor your religious consultant.
I just want to share my hiijrah times. I just want to share that my turn is earlier than any of you (who still has boyfriend/girlfriend), I hope you could start moving up just like me.

Think of this; do you still think that God allows you to be in a relationship before akad? before Ijab Qobul?
Do you think that God gives you ridho for your relationship? please ukhtifillah think again, thousand times.

"Whatever your answer is, that's only excuses. Not even a single goodness for having a relationship before akad" said a friend of mine. Yes, she was true.

I still can have a sharing partner, Him. Allah SWT.
I still can pray to the One and only Almightly God who has this universe, who arranges everything in this universe, who can do everything beyond your boyfriend can do.
I still can be happy, even thousand times happier because I no longer do sins, no more galau because he didn't texted me or called me (blah), no more sad because I know that I have Allah with me.
Allah protects me. Allah will give everything I need instead of everything I want. 

Allah knows better for my future, Allah loves me, what else can I ask?
That's more than enough.

Allah loves me, Allah loves me, Allah loves me very much.

And now i'm starting to love Him back.





For now, I will keep my feeling to someone that God has prepared for me, who will ask directly to my father to marry me, I won't have that kind of relationship before Ijab Qabul, Inshaa Allah.

"Mari senantiasa memantaskan diri, bukankah suami adalah cerminan diri kita. Jika kita menginginkan suami soleh, jadikanlah diri ini wanita yang sholehah, selalu senantiasa cinta kepadaNya"

It's hard, pretty hard. I need your doa for my hijrah times, to keep istiqomah all the time.

But all I know is that Allah will walk a thousand steps closer to hug me even I got only 1 step closer to him.
Isn't it amazing? Masya Allah.

You can laugh at me because you won't believe me, but what matter is God loves me, and I will try my best to love Him back. Inshaa Allah.

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim.................................... Let's move up!

***I post this as a self reminder for me, everytime I feel so hard to keep istiqomah then I just can simply read this. You're stronger than you think you are Chacu! Allah loves you!

Rabu, 17 Juni 2015

This is so me!

May, 2015
#latepost

The other day I asked one of my lovely friend named Afi about her working life at a startup company, because I have the same condition with her;

1. we're young and cool (teehee!)
2. we are working at IT company which is startup company
3. we both work as a marketing/business development
4. we face the facts that somehow people underestimated us for working at a startup company

I felt like i found my twins! hahahaha. and after i saw her blog posting about this condition I was like Ya Allah.... THIS IS SO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked her again that i want to repost her writing (because yes that was sooo me! plus, i'm such a lazy person to write the same "story" just like her hehehehe). And she was like..... 'yes you can :D'

So here it is.......
Original post by: Prahariezka Arfienda https://findyourstruly.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/starting-up-with-start-up/#more-427
"Starting up with startup"
Hari ini, gue akan cerita sedikit tentang suka duka…hmmm wait. Bukan suka duka sih. Tapi, challenges and happiness, yang gue alami selama bekerja di start-up company.
Kenapa gue gak mau sebut suka duka? Karena kalo duka itu—well I don’t know, it’s just me. Kesannya kok kayak sedih, gundah gulana, galau, dan miserable. While, gue—alhamdulillah, sujud syukur—so far gak merasakan hal seperti itu.
Well…buckle up, lads! Let’s start!
Gue rasa, udah hal yang wajar ketika lo baru lulus kuliah, kemudian tuntutan dari orang tua, keluarga, oma, opa, pakde, bude, om, tante, ponakan, adek, kakak (ebuset rebek amat yak. Gak Pak RT aja sekalian?). Yah intinya, orang-orang (baca: literally orang-orang sejagat raya dan luar angkasa), akan expect lo buat bekerja di tempat yang ada prestige nya. Perusahaan di mana ketika satu kali lo sebut namanya, orang-orang langsung bilang ‘wah keren!’, atau ‘Oh, perusahaan yang bikin sesuatu itu ya?’, ‘Oh company A yang itu ya!’, atau mungkin ‘ih hebat banget kamu’. Atau yang lebih ekstrim lagi, ‘wah gajinya gede dong? udah sukses dong? anak tante single lho! kamu mau gak tante jodohin sama dia…’ (Untuk pernyataan terakhir, jika lo laki-laki yang mendapat pertanyaan seperti itu dan ternyata anak temen nyokap lo itu secakep Chelsea Islan, HAJAR! Bagi para wanita, seandainya objek itu seganteng Andrew Garfield tapi dia gak pinter nyari duit, JANGAN MAU!).
Anyway, kayaknya sih udah kodratnya tuntutan itu akan selalu ada. Apalagi ketika lo bergelar S1 atau S2. Yang notabene biaya kuliahnya gak sedikit. Wedeeeehhh…pasti ada deh itu tuntutan ‘balik modal’. Maksudnya di sini itu, ya ada tuntutan di mana gaji lo diusahakan haruslah lebih gede dari semesteran lo. Pas kuliah (UHUK!)
Gue yakin yang kuliahnya mahal tapi gajinya belom pada mencapai target, pasti langsung gak napsu makan begitu baca ini. HAHA! Tenang, you are not alone kok. Woles aja. Ada ribuan orang yang senasib di luar sana. Gak usah khawatir.
Maka, streotipe seperti itulah yang pada akhirnya mengantar ribuan fresh graduate untuk berbondong-bondong menyambangi job fair, career days, dan bursa usaha lainnya. Buat apa? Ya buat apa lagi kalo bukan nyari kerjaan di tempat yang katanya prestisius itu.
Gue? Well yeah, almost one year a go, you would find me strolling around, wander among the crowd of the holy-superb-fully-crowded job fair. Udah gak tau lagi berapa banyak CV yang gue sebar. Udah gak paham lagi berapa email yang gue kirim ke berbagai email dengan address hrd@…..co.id. Nongkrongin laptop siang malem sampe bego nungguin email balesan, HP standby 24 jam nunggu telepon panggilan tes atauinterviewOne, two, three, and some interviews. One, two, three, and some more ‘BELUM LOLOS’ mails. One, two, three, and some other ‘UNDANGAN TEST’ messages. 
One..two..three…
And BAM! There! I fell down to the pit. Pit of failures, at that point when I was hopelessly giving up with all the rejections from those large companies. Haduh berasa dodol banget gue, kenapa sampe bisa ditolakin segitu banyaknya perusahaan. (Ada yang senasib? Kita tos dulu yuk! *high five*!)
Until one day, di sebuah job fair yang entah ke sekian berapa kalinya gue masuki, God showed me his mercy. Gue gak tau apa yang membuat gue tergerak untuk drop CV di sebuah perusahaan yang gue bahkan belum pernah denger namanya. Belum pernah lihat logonya. Dan belum pernah gue temukan social media-nya.
Basically, ini adalah sebuah start-up company. And when I said startup company, it was literally starting up the business. Barely start for one year. Even the employees were less than 10. 
It was far from my dream. When I graduated, I always pictured myself in the future as a girl who started her career in the early-twenty at some prestigious company. Walking around some cool buildings in an exclusive business district. That kind of stuffs. 
Tapi setelah nyemplung ke start up companyI have to admit. It captivated me. And I’m in love with one of the guy in the office how the business runs. 
Bagi gue, start up company adalah tempat paling ideal untuk belajar tentang dunia kerja, and the real business world. Luckily, perusahaan gue bergerak di bidang IT yang dituntut serba cepat. Dan ketika gue ngejalanin kerjaan gue, ngeliat semua pergerakan bisnis dari A-Z, gue merasa kayak butiran debu. As if semua yang gue pelajari selama 3.5 tahun di bangku kuliah itu cuma seujung kuku. Beberapa teori muncul dan literally dipraktekkin. Tapi, banyak juga praktek yang gue jalani tanpa teori. Learning by doings, trial and errors. Those kind of things.
Tapi itu yang menarik. Gue dicekokin berbagai macam ‘pelajaran’. Dan gue sadar, rencana Tuhan pasti selalu yang terbaik. Tuhan lebih tahu apakah gue siap atau gak buat ditempatin di perusahaan berskala besar. Dan terbukti, gue masih harus lebih amat sangat banyak belajar. Dan gue bersyukur, beberapa bulan lalu Tuhan mengarahkan kaki gue ke booth start up company ini, dan membimbing tangan gue untuk drop CV di sana.It was a gift.
Apa lagi, pekerjaan gue mengharuskan gue bertemu dengan banyak orang. Gue harus bertemu dengan berbagai jenis client dengan sifat yang berbeda-beda. Sometimes, gue bisa dibikin down. Dibikin semangat. Dibikin annoyed. Atau dibikin seneng. Tapi point nya satu: selalu ada pelajaran berharga dari setiap orang yang gue temui.
Gak cuma itu aja, karena gue kerja di perusahaan yang bergerak di dunia IT, kami dituntut untuk bergerak cepat. Karena teknologi itu gerak terus setiap saat. Hari ini lo bisa lihat sebuah inovasi baru. Beberapa jam kemudian, udah ada kompetitor baru yang dibahas di artikel salah satu majalah. Gila sih emang. Speed nya gak nyante, Tapi, justru itu tantangannya. Lo dipaksa buat bekerja dan berpikir cepat. Kreatif, above all. Dan harus udah nyiapin solving seperti apa yang akan dilakukan ketika ada sebuah masalah.
Satu hal di start-up company yang jarang lo temui di perusahaan yang udah established: lo diberi hak, kewajiban, dan kebebasan untuk belajar sendiriJust you and the whole new lessons. You are the teacher of your own. Gak ada mentor yang ngajarin, Pelajaran langsung lo dapet dari lapangan, atau dari diskusi dan komplain dari bos lo. Well ya, literally dari bos lo langsung, Karena untuk beberapa start-up, antara bos dan karyawan nyaris gak ada jarak.
Hal menyenangkan lain yang bisa lo dapat ketika lo kerja di start-up company yang rulesnya agak nyantai adalah: you can dress pretty much whatever you want. AND I LOVE THIS! I can dress casually, wearing boots or sneakers. I can pull formal business attire combined with casual accessories. Bagi gue yang hobi mix and match, my office is my runway. And my friends never mind it. And I’m glad!
Anyway, hidup gak seru kalo gak ada tantangannya. Begitu juga dengan kerja di start-up company. So here’s the challenges. Karena jumlah employee yang belum banyak, jangan heran kalo lo harus merangkap beberapa pekerjaan. Hari ini, gue bisa aja diem di kantor dan mikirin copy-write yang tepat buat website atau apps. Gak lama kemudian, gue akan keliling-keliling dari satu tempat ke tempat lainnya untuk meeting sama orang,convince mereka  buat pake produk kita. Gue juga harus mikirin gimana caranya bisa ngejar target jumlah downloader dalam waktu yang udah ditentukan. Lalu gimana caranya buat promote poduk kita ke orang-orang.
When you heard it, it seems hard. When you do it, it’s harder than you could imagine. Hahaha! Really! Tapiii, di situlah serunya. When you push yourself to the limit, then you’ll find yourself stand tall, upon your skills and abilities that now increase.
Begitulah start-up. Justru di sini, gue nemuin apa yang gue suka. Apa yang gue mau. Dan apa visi gue ke depannya. Mungkin salary gue gak segede temen-temen gue yang lain, yang kerja di perusahaan skala besar. Tapi, pelajaran dan pengalaman yang gue dapat, itu yang paling penting.
Gue gak tahu sampai kapan gue akan stay di start-up company. Dan gue gak tahu apakah nanti gue akan resign lalu loncat ke perusahaan yang scale nya lebih besar, atau pindah ke start-up company lain. Or even create my own start-up. Yang gue tahu, sekarang gue masih menikmati proses penggemblengan gue di start-up company. Dan gue harus jadi jauh lebih baik setelah beberapa bulan di sini.
Kalo sampe beberapa bulan ke depan kemampuan analisis, problem solving, dan skill lain gue masih sama-sama aja kayak pas gue masih kuliah…please slap yours truly over here hard on her face!
So, how was it lads? Buat kalian yang lagi galau, gue sih berani saranin kalo start up company is worth to try to start your career. Well, resikonya mungkin, saat lo ketemu sama orang-orang dan kasih tau mereka lo kerja di mana, mereka mungkin akan mengernyit. And they’ll give you that ‘apaan-sih-itu-kok-gue-baru-denger’ sight. Tapi, betapa bangganya lo ketika lo menjadi salah satu orang yang membuat perusahaan lo dalam jangka waktu beberapa tahun ke depan dikenal. Dan reaksi orang ketika lo nyebutin start-up tempat lo mengawali karir lo adalah ‘Oh! Iya gue tau! Wow man, that’s awesome!‘.
Being a follower is good. But being a pioneer, it’s indeed great and challenging!
What a great post Afi! I couldn't agree more!

Ramadhan Kareem :)

June, 18th 2015
#currentlife

I posted some sort of short story on Path yesterday night, after doing my first teraweh of this  year's Ramadhan:

"Balik kantor buru buru siap siap ke masjid buat dapet teraweh pertama.
Sendirian jalan kaki ke masjid daerah hegarmanah, sampe masjid rame bgt ngerasa asing sendirian...

Naik ke bagian ibu ibu ga kenal lgsg gue salamin satu satu sambil senyum.
Ditanyain "baru tinggal disini neng? Kuliah dimana?" Etc etc.
Terus pas udah ngambil tempat, pas udah mau solat tetiba air mata netes... kangen ayah umi kangen rumah kangen terawehan sebelah umi :"(

Pulang jalan kaki sendirian ke kosan, siapin makanan buat masak saur sendirian.
Bakalan berat banget puasa tahun ini semua ngurus sendiri, tapi inshaa allah berkah :'))

Marhaban ya Ramadhan...
Mohon maaf lahir batin semuanya, maafin kalo Chacu banyak salah ya..
Semoga kerja dan kesibukan kita di Ramadhan tahun ini ga menghalangi ibadah kita biar makin lancar, dan semoga diberkahi semua amal ibadah kita, Amin allahumma amin..."

Happy fasting to all moslem in the world! :')

Just a dust of afternoon thoughts

June 18th, 2015
#currentlife

I have a looooot of ideas on my mind that i wanted to post on this blog, but laziness comes first everytime i want to write. Like i told you. i wanted to post my traveling journey, but ended up I was posting about my exchange experience (continuing my post in ..................2012!!!). But who cares anyway, i'm the only one who will read this blog though. 

Still have  some lists that i want to post:
1. life changing experience to china
2. my current working life
3. my 'move up'/ 'hijrah' times, marhaban ya ramadhan :)
4. my #officeattire at the office (hahaha)
5. my traveling journey

If you found that my blog is not well arranged, has a messy plots (current-latepost-current-throwback) that makes you (even me) confused, i feel sorry. But the point is, i still want to write and throw up my feelings my experiences; everything. That's the goals.

"To write, is to have a lifetime memories that even when you can't tell, people can read it and feel it"--Khoirunnisa Chacu -_-

Anyhow, marhaban ya ramadhan! today is the first day of fasting, be good and do good, God counts every deeds we made. Let's spread the loveeee!