Let's move up!

June 19th, 2015

#currentlife

Some of you might have known about move up, some of you didn't.

Move up is different from move on, hundred levels higher than move on.

Move up is a condition when you want to be closer with God, Allah SWT.

Move up is when you want to be a better version of you because of Allah, not because of someone.

Move up is a condition when you think you are full of sins and you want to erase it by getting closer with God. Move up is a condition when you give 100% of you to Allah SWT, no one else in your heart except Allah SWT.

Who the hell is someone writing this, I don't think this is Chacu?!?!?!

Well this is me, a new me :)

Don't ask me how many sins i have made during my 23 years of life.

Don't ask me whether i have ever been in a relationship with someone or not, yes I had, 4 times.

Don't ask me what was my biggest sins, only God knows and I feel so shame about that, all the time.

See, I'm not saying that i'm not a hypocrite, yes I am, yes I was.

I knew that God hates me for what I have been doing previously, I knew that it's hard for God to accept a new me, like, I have dissappointed God for many times, million times.

But, here I am now,

Starting to move on, even more than that, to move up.

I knew that Allah still wanted me to be closer with Him, I knew that God still loves me even I had milllions of sins, I knew that God trying so hard to take me back to His way.

And yes, He was the one who separates me with someone whom I love the most--who fullfilling my entire heart for the past 1.5 years.

Since me and my ex boyfriend broke up, still, i'm trying to have him back, because I knew that I was the one who had a lot of mistakes to him, I was struggling to prove that i'm changed, I was struggling to prove that I am still in love with him, etc, etc. But, he kept rejects me. He changed into someone that I don't even know who is he.

God works in a mysterious way. One of them is changing my ex boyfriend feelings towards me.
There is no way for us to getting back together.

Did you feel sad Chacu? Yes I was.

But then everytime I think of it, I think that God looooveeessss me that much. Right?

First, He made us broke up 

Second, He changed my ex's feelings

Third, He started to put hidayah to my self, to be closer with Him

One of my friend named Amelia Yurika said, the key for move up is I need to have no boyfriend first.
And yes, she was true. Because If I still have one, my priority is him, not Allah SWT.
I kept depend on my ex, not Allah.
I kept doing any sins (because I put God at 2nd place, which is not right).

I'm not trying to teach you because i'm not your religious teacher nor your religious consultant.
I just want to share my hiijrah times. I just want to share that my turn is earlier than any of you (who still has boyfriend/girlfriend), I hope you could start moving up just like me.

Think of this; do you still think that God allows you to be in a relationship before akad? before Ijab Qobul?
Do you think that God gives you ridho for your relationship? please ukhtifillah think again, thousand times.

"Whatever your answer is, that's only excuses. Not even a single goodness for having a relationship before akad" said a friend of mine. Yes, she was true.

I still can have a sharing partner, Him. Allah SWT.

I still can pray to the One and only Almightly God who has this universe, who arranges everything in this universe, who can do everything beyond your boyfriend can do.

I still can be happy, even thousand times happier because I no longer do sins, no more galau because he didn't texted me or called me (blah), no more sad because I know that I have Allah with me.
Allah protects me. Allah will give everything I need instead of everything I want. 

Allah knows better for my future, Allah loves me, what else can I ask?

That's more than enough.

Allah loves me, Allah loves me, Allah loves me very much.

And now i'm starting to love Him back.

For now, I will keep my feeling to someone that God has prepared for me, who will ask directly to my father to marry me, I won't have that kind of relationship before Ijab Qabul, Inshaa Allah.

"Mari senantiasa memantaskan diri, bukankah suami adalah cerminan diri kita. Jika kita menginginkan suami soleh, jadikanlah diri ini wanita yang sholehah, selalu senantiasa cinta kepadaNya"

It's hard, pretty hard. I need your doa for my hijrah times, to keep istiqomah all the time.

But all I know is that Allah will walk a thousand steps closer to hug me even I got only 1 step closer to him.

Isn't it amazing? Masya Allah.

You can laugh at me because you won't believe me, but what matter is God loves me, and I will try my best to love Him back. Inshaa Allah.

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim.................................... Let's move up!

***I post this as a self reminder for me, everytime I feel so hard to keep istiqomah then I just can simply read this. You're stronger than you think you are Chacu! Allah loves you!